Trying to figure people out is hard, but is it necessary?
I have always been a very observant person. I wouldn’t go to the extremes of calling myself an ’empath’ but I would label myself as an emotional and sensitive human being, for sure!
– Article slightly detours –
Does being sensitive have any perks? Probably, but the negatives out-way the positives. Let me explain…
Entering a new relationship for example, whether that be romantically or just with a friend, I seem to feel emotions very strongly. It feels like my brainwaves cross over with there’s and I can tell instantly how that person is feeling; both positive and negative. This makes me very confused because I can’t tell how that person is feeling, in an accurate sense.
When I hold a deep liking for someone, these feels are increased dramatically.
In relationships I seem to have this dark fear of it always going wrong. I fear to loose something I love and I fear to loose my happiness and regain my unhappiness.
Cherishing the indefinite is impossible, because infinity is fantasy and fiction – so why should I bother, if it will end eventually?
I am also very anxious and hold much self-doubt. I seem to ask myself the same questions, “Am I good enough?”, “Have I done something wrong?” and “I would probably be better alone.”
All these strong emotions can be overwhelming and managing these feelings is tricky.
Distance and distraction is key. Sitting around and doing nothing allows your brain to wonder, ponder and eventually get lost in deep, unhealthy thinking. Understandably, we’re not always going to be doing something. There will be points in the day where we rest and then our minds begin to think again but we must stay away from these negative thoughts.
If only I could word how I feel and how my brain works, I would feel so free but it’s clogged with fog which is where the mystery lies.
For 2018, I want to improve myself in numerous ways, my emotions being one of them! I need to become stronger, break free from this sensitive being that I am and become a proud, confident and positive Kieran.
Moreover – I wish not to erase my entire identity but tame certain elements of it.
Having a positive outlook on things is another area I must work on. I’m not doomed to fail by default, I am doomed to fail if I steer the ship that way.
Going back to the title of this blog post, trying to figure out people is pointless and will only cause potential damage to a friendship. Understanding a person is more important. The things they like and the things they don’t, and when times feel odd and uncomfortable – take a step back and breathe.