Does Snapchat doom trust in relationships?
Snapchat. A social media app which uses pictures to communicate with friends. What a great idea to connect people? But is it!
I’ve never liked the app, because most of the time I look like crap, so why would I want to take a picture of myself and then send it to someone feeling self-conscious about that image? The logic doesn’t add up for me but anyway, let me tell you my biggest pet hate about Snapchat and why it scares me…
Coming out of a long-ish relationship two years ago, I found out that my ex had been sending numerous ‘nudes’ to other guys through Snapchat – while we was dating. When I talk about nudes, I mean indecent images…
I can’t remember the exact figure but it must have been around 10 people who approached me after we had split, letting me know that he had sent or asked to send something crude via Snapchat. It frustrated me that none of these people told me sooner, which is why I lost a few friends in the process of this unveiling.
However, I too was dumb. Not acting on numerous situations which had arisen while we was dating was cowardly of me.
Carelessly, I ignored a time when I saw a Snapchat notification appear on his phone. I questioned it – but in a comical way not taking the circumstance sincerely because I had trust in him and for all I knew, Liam could have just been a friend sending a happy, joyous picture of his cat…
About six months in to our relationship, I received another warning sign from someone I worked with. They told me my ex asked for nudes via Snapchat. Thankfully, my friend told me almost instantaneously about what had happened and I confronted my boyfriend at the time to seek immediate clarification.
He of course broke down in tears and became apologetic.
At the time, I did not know how to handle the situation because I held so much trust in the relationship. The idea of him sending nudes to other guys had never crossed my mind. Sadly, since this incident I lost trust wholly in the gay community, as through experience he wasn’t just a one off – without generalizing as I’m sure there are a few exceptions and decent male species out there…
The relationship lasted another 3 months before it ended.
However, that was just the beginning. Like I mentioned above, this was when I found out that more guys had sent him nudes and how my ex would send them back. It was devastating to hear the extent of what things had come to despite how heartbroken I was, it was reassuring to know that the relationship ended then and there.
Understandably for me now, it is hard to place full trust in another person when I’m dating. I wouldn’t call it paranoia, but just protecting my own interests and preventing another heart break.
I can usually spot the signs now too. When someone is keeping something from me, I know. There’s no point in lying or hiding because either way, I will find out and I will end it – no questions asked.
In my past, I was naive. In the future, I will not be playing games. Some people find it hard to understand why I am so anxiety-ridden but please try to understand my reasoning behind the vigilance.
Snapchat can doom relationships and the trust which lies between them, but I must try to adopt a more positive outlook on the entire situation, have faith and gain trust through a longer period of time otherwise I will have no hope in the dating-sphere.